How to Deal with a Major Setback (And Not Give Up)

Its crazy how this year is flying by!   Soon it will be time to start making those resolutions for 2012 to get us one step closer to the goals and dreams we’ve set for ourselves and our blogs.  This space is constantly evolving and the opportunities that out there for us is bananas!  It’s an exciting time and the fact that we can make a career out of doing what we love is so awesome.  Starting the journey to your dream is half the battle, making that serious commitment to yourself to do what you gotta do to make things happen. 

I made a few serious commitments to myself this past year, one of them including my book which you guys have heard about already.  I finally finished the draft and submitted it to my team for editing.  Was it perfect?  Not by a long shot but I’m thinking I just need to add some here, some there and we’re good.  To make a long story short, what has to be done is going to be at least a couple of month’s worth of work (on top of all the things I want to do with this blog).   What I thought I nailed, I didn’t and the vision I had was not the book I wrote.  It took a lot in me not to just trash this book that I spent practically three years working on and just say screw it.   I admit that I was really upset because this editing process became a much bigger challenge than I anticipated.  I was talking to my husband about it this morning. He tells me, “Well Rome wasn’t built in a day” and I promptly replied, “Well I’m not a Roman.”  Yes, I was being a brat but he was right. That stellar blog, book, or business wasn’t made in a day.  And if you’re like me who loves reading bio’s and features of people who are doing what I want to do, you’ll know that it took them years (and in the case of writers, tons of rejections!) to get to where they are right now.

So in an attempt to take my own advice, here’s can be learned from dealing with a setback so big that it may cause you to give up:

It’s okay to be afraid.  As a matter of fact, I heard Iyanla Vanzant say that if you aren’t at least a little afraid, then you aren’t dreaming big enough.  I’m still very afraid that I’ll put all this work into this book and this blog and none of it will get me anywhere.  Fear is a natural reaction and very necessary.  You never know how strong you are until you’re able to get through and conquer whatever scares you the most.

It’s not your time to shine… just yet.  I remember when I first started blogging, I wanted it to blow up like yesterday and my best friend kept telling me that it will take time.  Now that I look back, if I had the opportunities that I have now back then, I wouldn’t have been ready.  If a brand you really like turns you down or you don’t have the traffic that you want, its okay!  It’s just not your time yet, the same way I have to remember it’s not my book’s time to be out yet.  Take this in-between time to better your craft, develop relationships, and have so much fun that when your time does come, it will seem like it was just yesterday when you started!

It doesn’t mean you suck at what you do.  I’m still repeating this to myself because I had a lot of pity parties this week.  Just because a brand didn’t get back to you about working together or your traffic numbers haven’t increased in months doesn’t make you more or less of a qualified blogger than the next person.  The fact that you kept going where another person may have just given up makes you stand out!  Continue playing to your strengths and improving your weaknesses and try it again in a few months.

Setbacks happen even with the best laid plans and some can be more devastating than others.  It’s totally cool to be down about it but, like my aunt tells me, pity parties can only last for 24 hours.  So get all of those feelings out, take a deep breath, and keep on pushing!

Have you had any major setbacks in your blog/writing life?  How did you deal with them?


Photo courtesy of: