We all know that having a child changes things and for those of you who are mothers, you don’t need me to tell you that. The longer I go along on this crazy journey through Mommy Land, I find myself having a deeper and more passionate perspective on the beauty debates that swirl around in the beauty world. The latest one are about what’s considered “attractive” in the natural hair world. We, as in the curly hair audience, have noticed the loser the curl, the more popular a girl/vlogger/etc. becomes, excluding those with kinkier textures. To get caught up on the conversation, you should definitely check these articles:
- Curl Envy and Hair Texture Discrimination on Curly Nikki
- Does “Texture Discrimination” Affect the Success of Naturals on YouTube and Social Media? on Black Girl Long Hair
- Are Shrunken 4C Fros Considered Unattractive in the Natural Community? Also on Black Girl Long Hair
The blogger in me sees the issue in the same light as I did when this happened in the fashion world:
Natural Hair becomes a hot trend, beauty brands catch on, and the industry machine makes its own version of it and deems it as the “beauty ideal”.
The same way fashion bloggers (and women in general) felt that the fashion industry sets unrealistic standards in fashion, the same now goes for natural hair. Words like “texture discrimination” and “curl envy” lead the way in this natural hair debate, the “ideal curl” being the closest thing to straight hair a curl can get. As a woman I don’t like it but as a blogger I totally get it and will give the same solutions I gave when I ranted about plus size fashion.
But now I’m a mom to a beautiful baby girl with a head full of curls and whose mind that hasn’t been warped yet by these crazy ideals. While I’m glad that it’s become a lot more acceptable to rock your natural curls, trying to fit into an unrealistic mold of what natural is. When my little girl gets older and her curls get longer, will she be unevenly praised for her hair or unapologetically ridiculed for it? There’s no way of knowing nor is there any way for me to shield her from either scenario. But what I can do is help her learn what real beauty and self worth means with these lessons that took me forever to learn (the hard way!)
There are good and bad hair days, but never good or bad hair. Curls can have a mind of its own and may not want to cooperate. That doesn’t mean you have bad hair. Also, if you’re hair happens to look like the girl’s in the commercial, doesn’t mean you’re hair is better than anyone elses. You’re hair is awesome because it’s yours.
Let the beauty world inspire you, not rule you. Trying out beauty trends is a great way to explore what you like and change up your style. However it shouldn’t dictate your day to day beauty life. Try it because you like it, not because everyone else is.
Make any beauty trend work for you, not the other way around. Your hair style may not come out exactly as the girl in the Youtube video and you’re skin may not be a fan of (insert any skin care trend here). That doesn’t mean there’s something wrong with you. Just gotta tweak things to make the trend fit you, that’s all.
No matter what you decide to do to your hair, learn how take care of it.While I don’t plan on relaxing my girl’s hair while she’s living under my roof, she may want to go do that when she gets older and I will never knock her for it (shoot, I did the same thing!). Whether it’s relaxed, colored, curly, whatever, learning how to take care of it and keep it healthy is essential above all else.
What about you? What beauty lessons would you pass onto the next generation?