Thoughts from a Plus Sized Blogger…

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There are times in a writer’s life that we get so amped up about something we read that if don’t get it out we go nuts.  Well today was such a day for me so I apologize for my ranting. 

This morning while reading through my Google feeds, I came across Suze’s blog post on Refinery tweeting about plus size ladies size 10 and over having their own site.  Talk about craziness!  I thought it was absurd to consider a 10 plus size, especially considering that the average woman these days are a size 12.  I know awhile ago I ranted about the availability of sizes for women like me who are 14+ (I wear a 16 by the way).  Despite the fact that there are a lot of us who fit that category, we still don’t feel represented in main stream like we should.  I thought about adding my two cent to that in my own post but I said, “Nah”.  I left my comment and I was good.  Then this afternoon while going through Twitter, Stephanie from Loudmouth retweeted this blog post from Gala Darling called Body Pressure In the Blogosphere: Bloggers Speak Up (Part 1).  She rounded up some well known bloggers who gave their thoughts on body image, posting photos of ourselves, and what type of blogger image basically “sells” in terms of brand endorsements, traffic, and overall popularity.  I found it really insightful and felt happy to know that I wasn’t the only one who felt like this. 

After reading that I really felt like I needed to address this issue from the perspective of that curvy blogger who loves to try new trends and experiment with style but becomes disappointed when a lot of what I see wouldn’t fit her.  Can someone like me who wears a size that doesn’t seem to exist except for a handful of online and specialty stores achieve the same status of really big name bloggers?  Can I even get that dress from let’s say, Forever 21?  Uh, no because I already know they don’t carry it in my size.  Yeah I love stores like Ashley Stewart…but I don’t have the funds to shop in there like I want to (bigger the size, bigger the price tag)and um, they aren’t any in my county…See what I mean?

Like some people pointed out in Gala’s post, sure there are plus size models that we adore like Christina Hendricks and curvy celebs like Beyonce, but I can tell you right now, I am bigger than both of them.  There are some awesome curvy girl bloggers I follow as well, but honestly it’s a handful compared to the others.  Yes, ladies in my weight category aren’t in mainstream blogland and despite the fact that we fashion bloggers are making waves, we still have a long way to go when it comes to  girls like me.

With that said, I could complain, rant, and get depressed about this all day long.  I could get discouraged, stop posting outfit pictures, and just admire/envy from afar those bloggers who fit that beautiful and perfect mold that brands flock to and lavish with awesome gifts freebies and spreads.  I could wallow in my pity party (i.e eat cheesecake) and keep myself from doing what I love to do.

But that isn’t productive and in the end, it won’t change anything.

Let me tell you, posting my swimsuit post the other week was one of the most empowering things I have ever done.  For me that took a mess load of guts because my self-confidence and self-love is always a work in progress.  But man, wouldn’t it get a lot easier if there were more 14 plus girls getting out there and showing the fashion world that we are just a fly and just as marketable as the rest of them? If there were too many of us curvy ladies making an impact through our blogs, brands have no choice but to notice! If you read Suze’s post you know that after we bloggers raised our voices and said something, Refinery was quick to apologize.  We have more power than we know!  If we don’t speak up, they won’t hear us.

So I say to all of this, we need to keep talking about it.  We need to encourage those girls who think they don’t live up to industry standards to realize that they can make their own standards.  Keep posting those pictures because you want to.  Don’t fuss over being too thin or too chubby, too short, or too awkward.  You are you and there isn’t anyone out there like you.  That alone makes you stand out in this big old blogosphere.

My new thinking in life is that if a door of opportunity doesn’t open up for me, I will make my own door. 

So ladies let us make our own, curves and all.

41 thoughts on “Thoughts from a Plus Sized Blogger…

  1. Loved this! Thanks for posting! I posted a pic of myself in a bathing suit once and I was so nervous! But I love fashion…for plus-size ladies like myself and for my skinny-minnie friends. I just love the art of clothes. And we curvier ladies deserve to get the same attention and the same convenience that thinner women get too!

    • And we curvier ladies deserve to get the same attention and the same convenience that thinner women get too!

      I totally agree!! Thank you so much for stopping by!

  2. Great post. Not the split hairs, but Christina Hendricks is a 10. Like me (same size, same body type) she’s curvy but not plus size. This can still be a challenge for finding clothes though. Especially since so many summer styles are designed for women with absolutely no tits. I find cute dresses, tops, and bathing suits with two tiny triangles I can’t possibly get to cover my puppies on their own, much less my bra.

    • I definitely feel your pain on trying to find clothes that accomodate “the girls”! I don’t consider Christina plus size in my book but in the fashion world she is and that only reinforces my frustration.

      Thanks so much for stopping by!

  3. Great post MJ! Like you I don’t even bother shopping at Forever 21 and some of the other mall places. I know they don’t carry my size (I’m a 14 in pants, but vary in other things.) It’s so irritating that more companies don’t make bigger sizes. I mean, I like jeans too right? (At least the Gap goes beyond a size 12.) I make some of my own clothes, which is I guess my “own door”, know what I mean?

    • Sewing your own clothes absolutely counts! I really wish I wasn’t craft handicapped otherwise I would really take up sewing!

  4. Way to go girl!

    I live in Hungary and don’t have F21 here, but I do notice that brands that cater for higher sizes are much more expensive. Surely the material costs couldn’t be such a difference? We need a change of viewpoint – if size 12 is the most common size, make that the middle in sizing and carry clothes in both bigger and smaller sizes!

    I wonder if it would be possible to pressurize big brands to do this? Collecting signatures for example? Starting a petition? A website?

    • Thank you!! The way the blogging world is going, brands are already taking notice of us! We just need to keep on addressing this issue through our blogs and there will come a point where they would have to listen!

  5. Love this post!!! “If a door of opportunity doesn’t open up for me, I will make my own door” is going to be my new mantra!

    Corinne xo
    PS check out my lovely lady curvy designer friend Stefanie Bezaire’s website/blog stefaniebezaire.com – I feel you two are kindred spirits ;)

  6. Fab post! This reminds me a lot about the discussion some time ago by Grit and Glamour of how a very select type of blogger image (model thin being one major characteristic) got promoted over others on sites like look.nu and chictopia. I’m glad you spoke out loud and proud about this topic because sometimes it does seem that when “marketing” steps into the blogosphere things get a little skewed towards that age old unattainable idea of beauty that the magazines have always pushed on us – If it isn’t variation in size it’s ethnicity or age that are overlooked. Keep doing your thing! Doors will open!

    • Thank you!!

      I do remember that post Vahni did and it’s soo very true. Bloggers are very lucrative in the eyes of marketing teams and we have to remember to stay true and stay authentic because that’s where our power as bloggers lie!

    • Thank you!

      It’s crazy how the sizes in the modeling world. I know for me being 5’7 I’m considered short! Madness! I really wish they would come down to Earth and be more realistic with their standards.

    • Absolutely!! I really wish the main stream fashion world could really get that concept! Guess we gotta keep reminding them! :)

    • Thank you soo much for your comment (and for stopping by my blog! I think yours is awesome!). I admit it isn’t easy trying not to succumb to the pressure but it’s all part of the journey and I know I’ll be a happier person for it! :)

  7. *applause!* Powerful post. First-time poster, just discovered your blog. I appreciate your positive out-look. Fierce outfit too.

    • I’m so glad you found me and I’m glad you liked this post. I try to be as positive as I possibly can. You can never have too much of it! :)

  8. So glad I came across your post! I also read the Gala piece and it struck a huge chord with me as well. I applaud your courage on posting the swimsuit pics, you look beautiful, but I understand how you felt…I have some “What I wore today” post ideas and I as I thought about the outfits, I felt a bit of anxiety about how I would be viewed or criticised. But I will definitely do it!! More of us curvy bloggers need to be out there and not feel ashamed.

    Thanks so much!

    xoxoxo,
    Eves

    • I’m soo glad you stopped by! Thank you! Girl, go ahead and post those pictures! It may just be one of the greatest posts you ever put out there! :)

  9. Hi lady! I just came across your blog (and this post) through Links a la Mode on IFB this week — love it, you have so much interesting content!

    This post in particular is really insightful. You have a lovely writing style!

    – Hallie :)
    coralsandcognacs.blogspot.com

  10. Reading this post gave me chills- in the best- gonna change the world kinda way. And I love the making your own door determination. I’m I guess “plus-size” at at healthy size 12’ish, and I know I’m not plus-sized. I have friends who are plus-sized who have given up- too depressing to shop, which is a pity because they LOVE fashion- so yeah, we’ve got to put ourselves out there and represent ourselves- because god knows the fashion industry is NOT doing it. GREAT POST!

    • Thank you so much! It can be very frustrating to shop when you are plus sized because we just aren’t represented. The fashion industry has to realize that what they are putting out there is not only unrealistic but not representative of all women. We fashion bloggers are paving way in other areas so this one shouldn’t be any different!

  11. Another fantastic, thought-provoking post, MJ. Size 10 being “plus-size”…that is RIDIC. I have some things in my closet in a size 10. Guess I’m plus-size too.

    I’m totally OVER everyone forcing abnormally skinny down everyone’s throats. It’s an impossible and implausible ideal for 99% of women. Especially since these weight “role models” are teen models, models in general, or people who are paid to look good (and can afford trainers and nutritionists) like actors.

    That’s why I do love blogging. It raises awareness, gets people talking, shows others that we are all shapes and sizes and we can post our photos and be proud.

    • Thanks V! Yes, I’m also over the same beauty aesthetic that dominates mainstream. Bloggers are making strides in the realm already so we can raise awareness and if we are loud enough, the fashion world will listen!

  12. This post is fantastic. I retweeted it, it needed to be shared! You are a brilliant, beautiful woman, and I could not agree with you more! Being a size 16 myself, I gained so much self confidence by posting my outfits – “exposing” (if you will) myself and my style to the world. I’ve gotten amazing response, and have been able to meet such wonderful people. <3

    • I totally agree!! Just the post alone gave me so much more self confidence and I wasn’t even looking for it! That’s one of the very special things about blogging that I love!

  13. Darling, I absolutely love your post. YES, let`s make the door and walk through it and beyond! I shared your post on fb and twitter. Keep holding on to your beautiful self! Love you, Anika

  14. This really hits hard (in a good way). Throughout highschool I always worried about my weight and how people saw me. After a while I care but then I started to again when someone called me fat. This gave me a self esteem boost! Thanks for that. I needed it :)

    • I’m soo glad I was able to help. We all have our moments but when we remember the big picture and realize that we are special just the way we are, it makes getting through those moments a whole lot easier!

  15. Excellent and powerful post! I love, “My new thinking in life is that if a door of opportunity doesn’t open up for me, I will make my own door.” how true this is…
    This quote can go even beyond body, apparel – a great sentiment toward life, & goals ahead. –
    -Madison -xxoo

    • You are absolute right! I try to remember that whenever I go after a new opportunity and it doesn’t quite work out. It can be discouraging at first but in the end you have to keep pushing! :)

  16. This is such a great, insightful, poignant, and well-written post! For an average size girl like myself who’s body likes to stay in between the sizes of 10-14, and who yet STILL blogs her outfits, I fully appreciate your thoughts and will continue to post, creating our own door.

    • Thank you very much! Like I said, if there are enough of us out there still doing our thing the world can’t help but notice!

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